happy birthday

dear elizabeth cheung,

it is your birthday in america today, and unfortunately, you aren’t here to celebrate it. you’re 18, and there a number of positives and negatives that come with it. you can buy cigarettes now, which means if i’m too lazy to get out of the car, you can grab a pack for me. you can purchase pornography, which means you can buy me feature length movies if i feel you aren’t satisfying me at home base. you will now be tried as an adult if you were to have a run in with the law, which means if i were to run like i usually do, you wouldn’t “do the right thing and stay”, but you would wisely do the same because shit hits the fan harder when you’re being tried as an adult. you can buy scratchers, something that will become slowly addicting, and you will throw away your hard earned tip money at la patisserie, as i have with yogurtland and baskin robbins. and as i have mentioned on my facebook comment, having sex is no longer me raping you due to our age difference, so good luck using that one if i ever piss you off (:

but more importantly, i want to be able to share your next birthday, and the ones that follow after the next, because the last 4 months, although sometimes both physically (you abusive bitch) and emotionally demanding, have been fun to say the least. and i will be there for the next ones to come unless you cheat on me (hoe), put on 50 pounds (fat-ass), or do some borderline stupid shit (:

but in all seriousness, i fucking love you. have fun korea and taiwan, don’t go to pc bang and be a loser, i’d rather have you go out and get shit faced at a bar. see you soon.

^hahah 2 years ago, i kind of miss the buzz cut.

@1 year ago